Hi, I’m a Christian woman and I struggle with porn

I remember seeing porn for the first time when I was 8. I knew it was wrong and my young mind did not want to look away. It sparked my curiosity and I wanted to see more. . . and more I certainly did see. For the next teenage and young adult years, I went in and out of secretly finding and watching porn, even after I got married.

Porn has saturated our world. It pops up online when you aren’t even looking for it, strip clubs seem to be getting as popular as coffee shops, and coffee shops are turning into peep shows with the new trend of “bikini barista” stands. Sex sells and porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. In mainstream culture, porn is accepted as a way of expressing your sexual freedom but this expression of freedom is the very thing that holds so many in bondage.

Where do I start?

A staggering amount of people deal silently with their struggle with porn. It is a problem inside the church as much as it is outside and stats show that a third of porn viewers are women. Here are some things to think through as you consider seeking help for porn.

  • You don’t need to tell the whole word your biggest darkest secret. Seek or pray for one or two special relationships where you are safe to be completely honest and vulnerable, and where they will participate by actively pursuing you and loving you by checking in.

  • As you start talking about porn and how it’s a part of your life, you’ll be scared. You’ll try to find ways to not have to talk about it. You’ll hear lies about how no one will love you anymore. The fear can be paralyzing.

If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.  1 John 1:6-7

  • Pray for God to provide you with times to share. If you have a spouse that you need to talk to, pray for the right time. You will know when the time is right. No one can guarantee that it will be easy, but may God be glorified.

Look into X3CHURCH for an online community that you can join. If you are a leader in your church or would like to help people in addiction recovery, check out the Genesis Process and their training options. If you have other resources that you can recommend, leave them in the comments below. Listen to this episode of the Free Sex Podcast for a Christian woman's story of her struggle with pornography. 

Show notes:

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