Posts in Communication
Infidelity, Pain and Reconciliation: Is it Possible?
 Can you heal and come back from infidelity? These are a couple stories from diffferent marriages that have walked through adultery. You're not alone. | freesexpod.com | Free Sex Podcast 

The confusion, anger and pain was written in his eyes, on his face and down his whole body. 

"Why would you do that? I thought you loved me. We were talking about getting married . . ."
 

I cheated on him. I slept with another guy from my past. I sabotaged it. I did it on purpose so that it would give him a reason to break up with me. I did it because if he really knew how bad I was, how messed up and unworthy I was of his love, than it would be over and we could both move on. I wouldn't have to fake being a decent person anymore.

What I didn't realize until that morning was, he really did love me. I couldn't believe it, and as soon as I saw that clearly, I wished I could take it all back.

Cheating is sometimes about sex, but often times, it's something deeper. It's about attention, being known, being looked up to, being desired, or maybe about sabotage because of what you believe about yourself.

How does a Christian couple process and heal from infidelity?
 

On these episodes, we hear more stories about infidelity. First up is Lauren's story, her husband cheated on her and she walks us through the painful and progressive process of reconciliation. Then on the second episode, Jeff, a father and husband (not to Lauren) shares his story about his affair. You will find lots of parallel points to these two stories, but from two different perspectives. How does a couple move on? Who do they tell? When do they have sex again? All these questions are answered, and more.

Show notes:

3 Tips For Valentine's Day

Hey, Valentine's day is coming up and it’s kind of a big deal. “It’s just a day” some say.  “It’s just a day created by 'the man' to support the consumerism giant. My spouse knows I love them.”

If this is your view, just don’t. While I understand the thought of it being “only another day” and that your love should be “celebrated every day” it just isn’t a reality. We can fiercely love our spouses every single day but because of the busy-ness of life, expressing it can be put on the back burner. It might feel obvious to you, but if you aren’t actively pursuing your spouse in their love language, they might be vulnerable to feeling unloved. So sweep them off their feet this year and remind them that they are your “numero uno.” You don’t have to have a ton of money but rather a little time. Here are a few ideas on how to romance your spouse this V-day.

1. Get to know their language!

If you don’t already know, have your spouse take (and you should too!) the love language test here - 5languages.com - its important you communicate to your spouse in their love language because that is how they hear you say “I love you.” If quality time is most important to your spouse and you’re going broke buying them gifts, chances are they won’t feel loved despite your amazing efforts. Take the test. The 5 minutes is worth it.

2. No kiddo care?

Date night at home! After the kids go to bed have a night of romance all set up! Grab some tea lights and rose petals and make it a complete evening. Make a fun dinner together (don’t forget the dessert) and while one of you clears the table, the other prepare a romantic bath with candles and flower petals. Then just see where the evening leads you two. ;) Ladies, this is a fantastic time for the pretty lingerie!

3. No money? No problem!

Creative gifts and dates are my favorite. Personally, that’s how it is when we don’t have extra income to splurge on celebrating. Making cards is not juvenile and neither are homemade gifts. Take a walk with a thermos of hot cocoa or whatever you fancy and drink it at a favorite park while you exchange fun, thrifty, homemade valentines. These are the ones you never forget.

ALSO, REMEMBER! Have fun together! Take the opportunity to seduce each other on the day of love (I mean, obviously) but whatever that looks like don’t forget to just enjoy being with one another.

Tune into this week's episode where we answer questions sent in from listeners. 

Show notes:

I Took His Virginity

We had sex before we got married. Actually, I took my husband’s virginity. I was promiscuous as a teenager, and not only did my husband lose his virginity to me, he also got the gift of a desperate young girl with daddy issues. Fast forward ten years, and we’ve both put in hard work — for me. He has supported me and walked with me through sexual redemption groups, counseling and been my person and advocate. I don’t have shame and guilt stemming from my past, I am free, Jesus redeemed me, I’m a Jesus girl and seen as pure by God. But what about my husband?

Last year, he came home one day with tears in his eyes. His heart was heavy. Ten years after we first had sex, he realized that he had been carrying around the guilt and shame from having sex with me. He had lived 20 years abstaining from sex, doing things right, listening to the sex education from the conservative culture — don’t have sex, you’re going to get a girl pregnant or get a disease. As soon as you lose your virginity, its gone — and that means that you failed.

My heart broke for my husband who carried around this burden of feeling like a failure. We perform and try our best to be “good” and “pure,” yet what we don’t realize is that Jesus is the one that makes us pure, not abstaining from sin.

So my dear friends, I share this with you so that you would know that you are loved. You are not defined by your sin, or your failures. You are defined by God’s love for you, so don’t believe for a second that He doesn’t want you because of your shortcomings. 

God restores, so praise Him when he does. He promises to “restore to you the years that the swarming locusts has eaten,” (Joel 2:25)

This week’s episode, Katie and Candice sit down with their good friend, Chloe, and have a real conversation about guilt and shame from premarital sex, masturbating, initiating sex, and why we think some pastors are preaching bullshit.

Show notes:

  • Marriage Supply is offering free US shipping on orders $50 or more (no code needed!)
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Holiday Sex: Getting Down Without Getting Caught

I need to have more sex. Especially during the holidays.

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season stresses me out. I'm so busy thinking about the holiday parties, family dynamics, and what I'm getting for my siblings, that I forget to check in and make loving-on-my-husband, a priority. This year, I want this to be different, and here's how I'm going to do it even with all the people around. Besides, sex is suppose to helps with stress, right?!

1. Plan ahead, but keep it spontaneous!
Going out for a joy ride? Don't wear any underwear and bring a Screaming O Vibrating Ring! Going to be spending the night in your old room at your parents? Hide some toys and massage candles under the bed and tell your spouse to meet you up there in 5 minutes. Whatever you do, keep it fun, but add a little bit of surprise to add to the excitement!

2. Sneak and try not to get caught!
This is the exciting part! It’s a little “holiday secret” between the two of you. Sneak off during dessert at Christmas dinner to “wrap presents” or “run to the store” for a little quickie. It’s worth the time it takes for these little quickies and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Talk the talk. . .
Take time to get away from the people and steal a few (or more) minutes for yourselves. Here are some ways:

  • Talk to each other throughout the days and week. 
  • You look really beautiful today.
  • Baby, let’s try to sneak upstairs after dinner.
  • You look really hot. I want you in that dress.
  • Meet me in the bathroom in 5 minutes.
  • Let's go for a car ride, just you and me.

We discuss ways to have sex with a house full of people, without getting caught!  Where do you guys go for some privacy when the whole family is at your house, at a party, or when you're out?

Show notes:

  • Free US shipping on orders over $50 on MarriageSupply.com
  • Christmas Shopping on Amazon
  • Sign up for The Date Nite Box, perfect to get you connected in the bedroom for the holiday season. 
  • We're giving away a Hipster Liberator this month! Giveaway is for those that are subscribed to The Date Nite Box!